"I'm still here"

I was hesitant to post this particular heart thought because it is real and raw and would really show a part of me I like to hide. I like to be the strong one. I don't like to show weakness. I feel like I need to be brave though because I feel like this could help someone else going through their own battle. As many of you readers now know my book, "Amelia and the Secret of Stoney Manor" released on kindle November 5th of last month.  The first week was filled with excitement as my book hit the top 100 and began to roll in five star reviews. However, the second the first week ended.....i'm talking the very next day.....the fire was turned up. By that I mean everything that could happen has happened....had to fix my tire and things like that. Anything the enemy could throw at me he has. He has fought me with every weapon in his arsenal this past month. For the first 2 weeks I seemed to be okay, but this past week it has felt like my strength is failing and I have felt exhausted and emotionally drained from the fight. This is the point in the battle between you and your victory that I would like to call battle fatigue, I have heard many people talk about it before, but never really grasped the meaning of it until now. It's the point where you are so weary you start to question if God is even still listening and if he has abandoned you. I know I have said some things this week that I never thought would come from my mouth. I felt like I was praying harder than I have ever prayed but it felt like God was being quiet. I have always been thankful for my relationship with him, but this week I have felt completely alone. As I was scrolling through facebook Friday evening I came across my friend, Rebecca Halton's, post. She posted one of my favorite quotes that I have carried with me over the years. "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." C.S. Lewis. That very quote has gotten me through some of the darkest times of my life. It was like God was saying, "I'M STILL HERE." That very same evening Rebecca posted a video "An urgent (strong on my heart) and encouraging, 21-second word for the weary dream-chaser.... "  It was the shot of hope I needed so thank you Rebecca. After time with the Lord this weekend I feel like my strength has been renewed. If you are going through the fire right now let this heart thought be your shot of hope. Let me assure you....YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  I was reminded of this verse this weekend. Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” (Btw, if you are like me and don't like to show a "weak side" of yourself just remember even the strongest people feel weak sometimes. It does NOT mean you are weak to acknowledge that feeling. I had to accept that this weekend.)

                                                                                                 I love you all!
                                                                                               Michelle Jetton

                                             (Please enjoy the video. Jerem;y Camp "You Never Let Go")

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